Our world was never quite the same after our first large loss. On December 28th 2012 we met two of the most tiny, beautiful, baby girls. At 11:20am and 11:30am our precious identical daughters were born, our Apple Marie and Banana Lee.
This month has been challenging on multiple levels. Another unexpected loss before the birthday and angelversary of our dear Noelle Alberta Hope.
9 total losses and 11 angels. My heart hasn’t been the same since 2012 and I’ve learned to grow stronger through the grief of loss.
I have had a difficult time talking about our last loss because what more is there to say, it feels like the universe has other plans.
I’ve thought about multiple reasons, and the one thing that helps me is knowing that my entire life I’ve been raised to help deal with grief on a different level than others. Perhaps that is one reason why we have such cards dealt to us, because we can muddle through better than others…
And then I tell myself that under no circumstances should my youth have been that hard so I was better equipped to get through these moments in adulthood.
Life is a journey and while I continue to have moments of enlightenment about myself, and what has brought me to this moment, one thing is certain, hope. I continue to hold onto hope for our present and our future.
Apple and Banana, I think about you often baby girls, we miss you and we love you. Thank you for being a part of our life. No matter how brief, you were both important and loved your entire lives. Our beautiful Fruit Of The Womb Angels.
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