This past weekend we went to a family grief summer camp day. It helped open many of the feelings I had been holding deep inside of me.
Today during my grief counseling session I finally allowed myself to open up and talk about what I have buried for years. I hope the following weeks and months I continue to feel a little lighter and the inner child in me is able to release the loss and grief that I've carried for decades.
I kept having images, memories, thoughts that were haunting me this past week, today I realized it is because I needed to finally face the past, talk about it and grieve through it so I may move forward.
Loss for me isn't just about the loss of our daughter and our other children, it's the loss of my childhood that shaped who I am today.
I am thankful since living in the Kansas City area that the practitioners and professionals on this side of the state have been much more compassionate, listening, believe me when I have concerns and not dismiss me, even if they can't help me.
I am grateful for the people who've come into my life, especially this past year. Being this person I want to be now... I can only be that person if I finally face what I have buried. I really do feel a little lighter after my session this morning, like I can finally move forward and there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Grief is a journey and the chapters I have in my novel are lengthy, detailed and deep. I am thankful I'm not alone in this journey.
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