Today, 9 years ago, we lost our second TTTS identical twin, Banana Lee.
Hopes of a future with at least one of our twins broken and taken from us in a split second during the ultrasound I had that day.
I still remember she must have only left us minutes before the ultrasound. The colors of blood flow still trying to flicker but her heart had stopped beating.
The words that no one wants to say and no parent wants to hear. “I’m sorry, I can’t find a heartbeat…”
The screams of grief afterwards… Two parents left in a recovery room alone, both their babies dead but still in womb.
I told myself this week that I would not commit to doing anything on the 9th and 10th, and these last two days have been the most busy all week.
It feels like I have a lot on my plate and doing what I can, one moment at a time.
The waves of grief are strong.
Next week our baby girl Noelle should be celebrating her first year. Instead we are honoring her memory and her first heavenly birthday.
This is not how our lives should be. It feels incomplete. Plan to give our one earthly child an extra hug tonight. So thankful we have our son.
Love you and miss you our beautiful daughter, Banana Lee, and we love and miss your beautiful sister Apple Marie too. Give your baby sister Noelle Alberta Hope a hug and love from Mommy, Daddy, and your brother Bond. 
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