Life feels like Static

Sometimes life feels like I’m living through a view that’s static. Like a tv or radio station that won’t tune in, unable to make out the picture and trying to listen. 

This is what living through this journey can feel like.

The unknowing, the uncertainty... I may seem strong however I don’t always feel like I am. And that’s ok.

So far Mondays are the most challenging for me during the work week. It’s back to reality with no distractions from the weekend. 

I feel like I’m grieving many things right now. This year with COVID-19 took so much from so many. For me it took a month of my life after seeing family or friends very infrequently since March. We healed from the virus during July and have not seen many people after recovering. More cautious and don’t want to get sick and risk serious breathing complications and another ER visit.

I’m grieving a future that won’t be what we hoped for. However I am dreaming of the future that we may be able to have. 

No we probably won’t have a baby shower. Our son wanted us to have one to celebrate his baby sister, however how do you celebrate during a pandemic year? And how do you celebrate the unknown? 

All I know for now is this blog and my new blog page on Facebook will be my outlet. 

I hope others who’ve walked this path know they aren’t alone.  

Life may feel like a blur of static sometimes and that’s ok. Grieving is a process. I’m doing the best I can and want to be there for my family, to support them, and help them through this journey too. 

Dreaming of time with our baby Earth-side, our miracle, holding onto hope.